7 Life Lessons That Shaped My Healing Journey.

Reflective questions from a forever work-in-progress

I am more curious these days about the life learnings that have shaped the way I live.

Writing out my “life lessons” is an exercise in honouring my process. As I’ve grown, so has my perspective. Everything in its own time.

It isn’t realistic to reflect without integration for me, so this journaling practice keeps me accountable to myself, and reminds me that as my circumstances change, the wisdom I acquire will shift too.

If some of these resonate, I hope it encourages you to find some time for your own reflection. Take what you need and leave the rest.

Me trying to look very casual while I pose for a self portrait.

Without further ado:

Lesson 1: Trust.

Distrust and avoidance of vulnerability is no longer an effective survival tool. I cannot protect myself from opening up to others and still expect to feel supported or known.

Journal Prompts:

• When do I feel safest to open up to others?

• What do I notice about my environment, my needs or the people around me?

• Is there anything that holds me back from trusting the community around me?

Lesson 2: Attention Is a Resource.

Presence is the biggest gift I can give to myself and to others. My attention is a valuable resource that I need to conserve and protect.

Journal Prompts:

• When am I the most distracted and disconnected from the present?

• Is my ability to focus impacting my relationships, my mood and/or my functioning?

• What helps me stay present during important interactions and conversations?

Lesson 3: Compassion Moves Me.

Saving my worst criticism for myself isn’t meaningful. I respond better when I’m honest, compassionate, kind. Practicing constructive feedback is valuable for myself too.

Journal Prompts:

• How loud is my inner critic?

• What situations or triggers impact the way I talk to and about myself?

• Even if it doesn't feel true in the moment, can I practice a kinder inner dialogue?

Lesson 4: Don’t Force It.

Manufactured urgency is not sustainable, and will lead to chronic burnout. Everything truly happens on its own time. Trust your timing.

Journal Prompts:

• What areas of my life do I feel the most pressure or urgency?

• Does productivity and success feel sustainable for me?

• Is there anything I can think of that might help loosen my response to internal or external pressures?

Lesson 5: Share Mindfully and Meaningfully.

Disclosure and vulnerability are related but not the same. I can be intentional about how, when, what and to whom I disclose private matters, without closing myself off to vulnerable connection.

Journal Prompts:

• How can I practice being authentic to myself and my values without allowing everyone open access to my private issues?

• How do I manage the desire to connect without over-sharing?

• What boundaries do I need to maintain my privacy?

Lesson 6: Comfort Without Solutions.

I can practice active listening without feeling obligated to “fix” problems. I am not the world’s fixer. I am here to nourish connection.

Journal Prompts:

• When I'm able to listen and support my community, how often do I jump into offering solutions?

• What emotions come up when this happens?

• Can I hold space for connection without "fixing"?

• How would that change the way I show up in relationships?

Lesson 7: Like (and Love) Yourself First.

It’s okay to like who you are. Feeling positive about yourself doesn’t mean you’re inherently selfish or self involved. You deserve to feel accepting and safe in your skin.

Journal Prompts:

• Do I dismiss positive feelings toward myself in the name of humility?

• What ways do I intergrate positive feedback from my environment?

• Does it feel uncomfortable to express like for myself? Why or why not?

Did any of these lessons resonate? How do you integrate the learnings you’ve come across along the way? I’d love to know what you think.

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