The stress of "feeling stuck"

Journal prompts and thoughts on what helps us move forward.

Fun fact: It is normal to feel stuck.

Life has a way of convincing us that we’re already behind before we’ve even gotten started. Labelling ourselves as “stuck” often comes with the mindset of constant growth, movement and productivity. This is not only harmful but deeply unrealistic.

Growing, learning, and healing exist on a timeline outside of our internal expectations.

Moving past roadblocks rarely happens under unnecessary pressure.

When we get trapped in cycles of self-judgment, pressure to succeed, and self-criticism, it’s easy (and very common) to also fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Measuring up our talents, energy and perceived (lack of) achievement to others only adds to the harsh internal judgments that keep us feeling disconnected, isolated and unsafe in our minds and bodies.

Perhaps feeling stuck is simply a reminder for you to be still. A reminder for you to connect. A sign to reframe “feeling stuck” as “having space.”

You do not exist to produce. Being yourself requires balance. Movement and energy toward what we want and need require prioritizing rest. Regularly and often. Creative energy and intentional engagement with our goals need space for our minds and bodies to reset.

The stress of needing to do something, go somewhere, be someone — anyone, anything other than where we are right now, can overwhelm our nervous systems and push us into doing for doing’s sake.

What would it be like to let “feeling stuck” be a gentle signal showing you the value of slowing down? Or remind you to take stock of where you are without urgency?

Let this be a soft reminder to trust yourself, your process and your journey.

You are not behind. You have and always will be enough just as you are. Growth is messy. Things take time. Your value does not diminish when you rest.

I won’t discount that there is discomfort in stagnancy and stillness. Perceived lack of movement can trigger problematic beliefs and mindsets around productivity, or assign meaning to the experience based on negative self-talk instead of neutral observation.

One of the most powerful tools I use to encourage myself and others to reframe “stuckness” is self-compassion. According to self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, there are three elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.

Essentially, we need to soften critical self-judgments, open ourselves up to interconnectedness and shared human experiences and develop balanced awareness of our environments. Grounding ourselves in compassion and choosing to see ourselves as deserving of care is a core element of soothing ourselves in response to threats and stress. Aka, your body feels the effect of this practice over time, even when your mind might not have caught up yet.

Self-compassion may feel woo-woo, like a chore, or challenging to do. The key is to keep at it. The benefits of this practice are powerful when added up over time.

Here are some journal prompts that may help encourage compassion when you feel stuck:

1. What’s the best decision I can make at this moment?

   • Think in 10, 30, and 60 second increments. Break down anxiety and future forecasting by thinking smaller. Don’t focus on what is “right”, just what’s next for you.

2. What do I currently trust myself to do?

   • E.g. Do you trust yourself to get a cup of coffee when you wake up? Walk the dog? Have a snack? Movement can happen when we remember what we’re already capable of.

3. What needs to be resolved for me to feel more purposeful right now?

   • Problem solve by looking forward to your values and life direction, rather than spiralling into what doesn’t feel right.

4. Is there a need I can meet before I can move forward?

   • Feeling stuck can be exacerbated by unmet physical/mental or emotional needs. Are you dehydrated, uncomfortable or lonely? Check-in with yourself.

5. How can I use my community to support me in getting unstuck?

   • It’s hard to ask for help when you have internal expectations of independence. Challenge yourself to think about how connection may support this process.

6. What beliefs or judgments come up for me when I feel this way? How might I respond to them if I was talking to someone I care for or love?

   • We are often more sensitive and gentle with those we care for and are in community with. Write down any negative self-talk that comes up for you and offer a response as if it came from a friend or partner.

Moving through these prompts will require a commitment to seeing yourself with compassion, and allowing for some discomfort as you negotiate your needs, wants and how others can help. This takes time and practice.

When we offer ourselves compassion and grace to evolve without expectation or unnecessary pressure, we make room for curiosity and connection. Instead of isolating ourselves in self-loathing and shame, we can open up to acceptance, validation and care.

As always— take only what fits and leave the rest. If this resonated with you, I’m glad and grateful.

Feelings, Healing is supported by you, the readers. This newsletter is a place for writing words that support sensitivity, self-exploration and curiosity for inner growth and wisdom. If you like this post and others, please share, subscribe or leave a comment🤎

—Meg