Authenticity is a bit of a buzz word. It doesn’t however, mean that it isn’t important or meaningful to our lives.
To be authentic is to bring one's real experiences, feelings and thoughts into an interaction/ relationship, situation or environment. Authenticity requires brave, considerate and complex actions that cultivate empathy and vulnerability on purpose.
By allowing the true honest experience of where we are in any given moment to come forward, we practice accepting ourselves and others more fully, openly and honestly.
When we show up without masking our true selves, it can encourage and inspire others to do the same.
I recently shared an insecurity with a friend, who gently pushed me to keep showing up as myself, no matter who might be watching. I heard her voice in my head as I prepared to do something that felt scary and vulnerable.
To my surprise, the response I received was overwhelmingly positive. One of the pieces of feedback that stood out to me was how what I had shared encouraged someone to feel less afraid to face their own fears.
By allowing my authentic self to come through, I helped normalize a release of “who I thought I should be”, and allowed space to show up exactly as I am. It was a powerful full circle moment that I don’t want to forget.
Authentic interactions sharpen our sensitivity and our vulnerability.
Being both sensitive and vulnerable are hard emotional experiences to embody. Showing up as ourselves in the moment means becoming aware of the ways we perform, pretend, code-switch and put walls up around ourselves. Often these ways of coping are borne out of protection.
We are encouraged often to “be ourselves” without examining the ways in which it might not be safe to be.
When all you've known is to show the version of yourself you think people want, instead of feeling free to show up as you are - you will feel unsafe.
But that doesn't mean authenticity IS always unsafe.
It’s incredibly difficult to let go of these ways of hiding ourselves away. Check in with yourself. Is the harm you may feel connected to a real and tangible threat? If so, then adjust your vulnerability to meet a better audience.
Learning to differentiate the spaces that deserve the fullest and truest versions of ourselves vs. the ones that do not, is a necessary practice.
Encourage yourself to breathe softly into any discomfort around this. Give yourself room to acknowledge there will often be threats to your honesty, to your truth. That doesn’t necessarily mean the world doesn’t deserve all of you.
It may just mean you are still learning who honors your soul, what community spaces respect your authentic self, and when to practice boldness in the face of uncertainty.
Journal prompts:
What does authenticity mean to you?
When do you allow yourself to be the truest version of you?
Does being vulnerable and honest with yourself come with risks? If so, what are they and how have you dealt with this in the past?
When do you hide yourself away? What does it look like when your walls are up?
What emerges when you’re in sincere community? What do you notice when you’re around people who respect and honour your authentic self?
Until next time,
Meg
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Belonging comes up for me when I reflect on that last bullet. An elusive thing when your experience as an outlier/outsider typically has you standing apart. To shed the mask and feel connected is still a welcome surprise, but I’m discerning which of those encounters tend to be fruitful. Thank you for keeping me hopeful - as always ;)