Staying true to ourselves.
Reflections on the power of gathering insight, and questions for the times we are not sure what to do or where we stand.
Some of the most interesting insights I’ve had in therapy sessions with clients are ones where we are diving into the weeds of an everyday situation, and excavating what might be important to focus on or understand.
Often, these interactions come in moments where we least expect it to— like realizing that a harmful relationship pattern is being unconsciously repeated, after describing an interaction that may originally never have been given a second thought.
Insights can jump out at you in bits and pieces, and understanding can emerge in unexpected ways. I love exploring creative ways to learn more about ourselves and the environments and communities that sustain us. Asking questions and allowing honesty and openness in how you respond can invite curiosity and acceptance to linger instead of just our negative self perceptions and inner critic.
This is one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal: knowing what to ask, how to ask it, and when it’s most helpful.
However, thinking and writing are just precursors to arguably the most important part about therapy and personal reflection: the action.
Changing, and making things happen in reality means being organized and clear about how we use what we learn during times of reflection. We do need time to think and process internally about what we want and need, but without action, we can easily find ourselves overwhelmed and stuck in the same patterns over and over again.
Staying true to yourself is a powerful tool for boundary setting, developing strong relationships and navigating your environment with self-trust and ease.
To be intimate and connected to others in a trusting and vulnerable way is hard to do when you’re unclear on who you are or what to do next. Learning how to stay true to ourselves is an important foundation for building confidence, nourish connections and intimacy, and sett the limits we need in place to thrive. When we know where we’ve strayed from our beliefs and our convictions, we can make steps towards feeling more assured and confident in the decisions we make, and the opportunities we pursue.
Human beings are not simply aimless creatures without purpose or desire. In many ways knowing what feels right to us, is an intuitive exercise and a chance to practice present focused and mindful engagement with the world around us.
Today’s offering is rooted in the curiosity and inquiry of when you feel most like yourself. How do you stay true to yourself? What questions might be helpful to focus your path forward in a way that feels most like you?
Reflective questions to help you stay true to you:
Explore your values
What core values guide my decision making during times of ease and crisis? What matters to me in these moments, and how do I bring these values into action?
Ground Yourself
When do I feel most disconnected from myself? Do I have a sense of when I'm disengaged and distant from my body and mind?
Mind External Influences
Have I ever felt pressured to act against my authentic self, or my important beliefs? What do I notice about my reactions and feelings in these situations?
Allow for evolution and change
Do I have personal beliefs and/or mindsets that have changed over time? What prompted the change? What helped me shift my perspective?
Nourish honest relationships
Who sees the real me? What relationships and connections are tapped into the version of myself that feels most whole and honest?
Reflective questioning and gentle inner curiosity is one way I’ve been able to capture the sacred process of insight gathering that happens in therapy. Don’t limit yourself to simply writing your answers down. Meet yourself where you are, and offer yourself room to talk it through out loud or simply have a quiet moment to be thoughtful.
Remember, the most important part of insight gathering is what you do with the information. Bring what you’ve learned into your life with small changes and baby steps. Change doesn’t happen overnight.
Until next time,
Meghan
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