On Forgiving and Letting Go
Reflections on moving forward.
Whether the hurt is old or new, honour that you get to decide when and where forgiveness is offered, and how you would like to move forward.
Personally, I believe forgiveness is for you. It’s not up to anyone else to decide how you process, move forward or let go of past wounds. Listening to other’s opinions about how this should happen for you may ultimately result in resentment and disappointment. Release the idea that forgiveness should happen on a pre-determined timeline. Reconciliation (if it makes sense to do so) is for you, and should happen when YOU are ready.
Now that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t address these past hurts, or consider whether it’s meaningful and helpful for you to consider forgiving and letting go. This just means that the process to which this happens needs to be intentional, self directed, and come from a place of wholeness and worth.
No matter what you may be dealing with, remember that anger and grief for the relationships and situations you hoped would turn out differently is real and valid. The journey to addressing these feelings is deeply personal, and requires consciousness around how you talk to yourself about your emotions and how you communicate them outwardly to others.
Wholeness and the feeling of worthiness is never lost, only forgotten.
What would you like to remember?
Sometimes this remembrance comes with allowing yourself to feel the pain of your past. Other times, remembering your wholeness arrives with a return to self integrity through assertiveness, boundary setting and addressing what needs to be made right.
Getting over or moving on from a difficult relationship, encounter, or experience means getting honest with yourself about feeling vulnerable, navigating your own ego, and being gentle with yourself when emotions such as sadness and shame arise.
Pain is inevitable in life, and avoidance is a natural response. Be purposeful in how you move towards those past wounds and learning to forgive and let go will unfold in a way that makes sense for you and only you.
Some self inquiry prompts I love that may encourage further thoughtfulness around this topic:
Do I still have grief, anger, pain or shame about a past wound that I need to address?
Would forgiving, letting go or moving on from this pain be helpful for my emotional health right now? Do I need more time to process?
What tools of integrity or wholeness can I step into with intention at this moment (i.e. boundary setting, self honesty, assertive communication etc)?
Do I want to move on for myself or for the benefit of someone else? Is there external pressure that need to be acknowledged and named?
As always, see you next time.
—Meg
Forgiveness can often feel like a messy journey! Thank you for writing this so gently🤍✨
Thank you for this! 🙏