No one cares (and that’s a good thing)

or, the freedom in realizing you’re not the main character in other people’s minds as much as you think.

The Fear of Being Seen (and Judged)

Let’s set the scene: You’re afraid to share. To post. To publish. To share the thing you’ve been working on for months (or years) because what if it’s bad? What if people don’t like it? Worse—what if they don’t even see it? UGH.

I struggle with this. A lot.

But here’s the hard truth I’m learning: no one cares. And frankly, that’s the best possible news. Especially for my fellow over-thinkers.

Some hard truths:

• That “embarrassing” first draft? No one will remember it.

• Your “bad” post? It’ll be buried in the feed by tomorrow.

• That “cringe” attempt at something new? It’s already forgotten.

And it’s not just a me thing, this is something I’ve seen time and time again — with clients, friends and family. We tell ourselves that our work will be judged under some relentless, unforgiving microscope—but most of the time, people are too busy worrying about their own thing to fixate on yours. And the upside of that? You’re free to experiment. To try new things. To BE CREATIVE!

I know, I know. It’s not groundbreaking information, but there’s merit in it.

Sleeping Girl (1935 - 1943) Riva Helfond (American, 1910-2002)

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Fear of Failure? No. Try Fear of Potential.

If you happened to scroll through my drafts on substack, notion, instagram, or my notes app—you’d see an entire archive of unpublished thoughts. Ideas I’ve half-written, polished, overthought, and then… just left there. Not because they weren’t good. Not because I stopped believing in them. But because I never felt brave enough to hit “post.”

I could say I struggle with perfectionism, but that’s not the whole picture. I could say that I get caught up in over-editing, refining, tweaking until I convince myself something isn’t ready. But that still doesn’t seem right.

Why do I live in this purgatory of my own making? Sometimes it’s the struggle to find time. Time to edit, time to review and check, or even just time to write or do the thing itself (more on the challenge of time in a later post).

If I’m being honest though? Time isn’t really my biggest opp. It’s fear.

It’s not just fear of failing. It’s fear of what happens if I actually succeed. Fear that if I put it out there and it’s fine or even good, then what? Then there’s no more “potential,” no more “someday,” no more hiding behind almost.

A snapshot of a literal work in progress. Playing with new mediums like these watercolour papers.

Potential (in my opinion) is worse than failure. Because at least with failure, you tried. Failure I know. Failure I can plan for. Failure is the soundtrack to my negative self talk. She’s a familiar pain — still shitty, but familiar.

But potential? Possibility? It’s this heavy unknown thing, this endless worry of what ifs that keeps me from ever being seen, but also from ever being real.

But what if I just… did the thing? And it was fine? What if it was just okay? Mediocre even? What if everything didn’t have to be up against the measuring stick of “Black Excellence” or the failures I’ve catastrophized could happen?

What if I stopped hoarding unfinished ideas like I could protect them from reality? What if I let myself be seen, imperfect and in progress? What if I let go of potential and let things be?

IG: @gardenfullofslugs

Creativity Thrives on Repetition, Not Perfection.

As you can likely guess, I’ve been writing this very post for months. I’ve had a constant back and forth about what to share and when, and truthfully, i’ve let a lot of things get in the way of my own work.

In my “busyness” i’ve been making excuses and avoiding putting my creative work out there. To my credit however, I’ve also been doing a lot of creating behind the scenes, talking to my community and reading up on the creative process.

Funny how avoidance works to keep you spinning in circles while also learning a whole lot.

Specifically, I’ve been reading up on how the artists, writers, and creators I admire engage and interact with their craft. Do they also struggle with this irrational fear? What is their relationship to creative process?

So far the conclusion I’ve come to is: Almost every artist, writer, and creator you know and admire has a graveyard of work that has never seen the light of day. The reasons why are plentiful, but the difference I’ve noticed is that they simply keep creating and putting it out there, regardless of whether it’s “good” or not.

Creative works are not the end goal, but in fact, is an important process that cannot and should not be defined without getting all of the in-between creations out first.

A few condensed lessons from the greats:

• Octavia Butler wrote every single day, long before anyone cared about her work. She famously said, “Forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” She didn’t wait to feel ready—she just wrote.

• Toni Morrison (in Song of Solomon) writes, “You wanna fly? You got to give up the shit that weighs you down.” Phew. Simple, and to the bone.

• Austin Kleon, author of Steal Like an Artist writes, “There’s two things: There’s the making and there’s the sharing. So the most important thing is to always be making. The most important thing is to be in love with the doing, with the verbs, with the actual acts—the practice.” A reminder that despite the pressure to share, the most important part is that you keep at it.

Octavia Butler’s “Essentials of Success,” The Huntington Library

In the end, like the therapeutic process, or the journey towards healing, creativity isn’t about getting it right. It’s about keeping it moving.

The more you make and move in the direction that matters, the less precious each thing or moment feels. The less you agonize over the individual pieces and experiences, the more they add up to something bigger.

The Freedom in Not Being That Important (Yet)

There’s a kind of relief in realizing you’re not as important as your anxiety says you are. Not in a you don’t matter way, but in a you are free way.

Because when no one’s watching, you can really get curious. You can try new things without the worry about looking “cringe,” or better yet, actually fall into the ever elusive flow-state, where creating, being and learning is joyful, and as easy as breathing.

When the stakes aren’t as high as your brain tells you, you can play. The reality of the fleeting attention spans of the crowd means that there’s no need to overthink it.

And even when people are watching, the stakes are never as high as they feel.

Some facts:

• You are allowed to post things that don’t go viral.

• You are allowed to try and fail in public.

• You are allowed to create without every single thing being a masterpiece.

If it flops? Cool. Make another.
If you look back in a year and cringe? That’s OK. That means you grew.
If people don’t care? Good. That’s your freedom.

This is the hardest part to embody.

Okay, But How Do You ✨Actually✨Get Over the Fear?

I’m STILL working on this. I’m by no means perfect here, and truthfully, I could change my mind on these strategies. If I do, you my dear readers, will be the first to know. So take this with a grain of salt. Embrace what fits, leave the rest. You get the deal.

Okay so here’s the thing. You don’t need a perfect plan. You just need to start. These are a few of my tips:

1. Make it ugly on purpose. Write the worst first draft. Record the awkward video. Let it be bad. When you remove the pressure to be good, you free yourself to actually create.

2. Set a ‘done’ deadline. Give yourself a strict time limit—then release it no matter what. No endless tweaking, no “one last edit.” Hit post. Send the email. Walk away. This one is the toughest for me.

3. Lower the stakes. Not everything you make has to be profound. Share a thought, not a thesis. Let things be small. Let them be light.

4. Move fast, not deep. Instead of obsessing over one perfect thing, make ten messy things. Practice makes progress. You’ll find clarity through doing, not overthinking.

5. Detach from the outcome. Some projects will flop. Some shares will be ignored. That’s fine. Your job isn’t to predict or control reactions—it’s to keep showing up.

6. Get comfortable with being bad. If you’re not making some bad work, you’re not making enough work. Let the drafts be just that— drafts.

7. Remember: no one cares. And that means you can try, fail, and try again—without the world falling apart.

And if you still need a nudge? Consider this your push. Post the thing. Share the work. Put your gifts out there. Let people see you, right where you are.

Because staying stuck in potential is the real failure.

Take it from someone who’s still figuring it all out. I’m holding on to the wisdom that even if it’s not “the best” or even my best, it’s still valuable to share. You never know who might be inspired by your journey, or what you have left to learn along the way.

with love

(and lots of compassion for you and me),

—Meg

🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎

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🕳 Rabbit Holes to Explore

I have collected a lot of books on creativity. This isn’t even all of them but it’s a decent shortlist. Don’t ask me too many questions either, bc I could talk about this for hours.

No links to purchase today. Honestly I’m tired of the ubiquity of Daddy Bezos. I don’t get paid by him to promote his website, and truthfully I highly recommend a visit to your public library, or local bookstore if you’re curious about any of the books I share below.

📖 A few favourite reads:

• The Creative Spirit by Daniel Goleman, Paul Kaufman and Michael Ray. A thrift find from the Toronto Reference Library used book sale. A companion to a now cancelled PBS mini series of the same name from the 90’s. Reminding us that creativity isn’t a luxury, but a space to build knowledge.

• Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. A landmark book — the origin of the term “flow state.”

• The War of Art by Steven Pressfield – On creative resistance, shadow work, and just doing the thing.

• Jenny Odell’s How to Do Nothing – Rest as resistance. Creativity as refusal.

• Great Minds Don’t Think Alike by Emily Gosling — Discovering the methods (and madness) of 56 creative geniuses (also has lots of cool illustrations, which I love)

• The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin. I’ve shared quotes from this on my IG a few times, and think this is a great book to hop in and out of. A reliable source of inspiration if you will.

• Show Your Work! 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered by Austin Kleon — the follow up to the book Steal Like an Artist, and a literal push to get your work in front of the people that want to enjoy it.

• Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert — a constant reminder to let go of perfectionism, stop waiting for inspiration to “strike” or for your work to be “flawless.” Creativity flourishes when you let go of the need to be “good.”

• The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron —A classic. One many people already know. A 12-week program designed to help people recover their creativity, of which I am in the middle of. Stay tuned.

• How to Make Art at the End of the World: A Manifesto for Research-Creation by Natalie Loveless — a critical exploration of the relationship between art, academia, and activism. Art isn’t just about aesthetics, its a form of creating knowledge.

• Build Every Day: Ignite Your Creativity and Find Your Flow by Alec Posta. A random find from a professional LEGO builder and artist. A good push toward cultivating a daily creative practice by shifting your mindset, building sustainable habits, and learning to trust your process.

Websites & Other Places to Get Lost

• The Creative Independent — One of the coolest websites I frequent. A digital garden of things to explore.

• The Syllabus Project — A space for discovery and learning, driven by the wisdom of people just like you and me.

• “Not You Judging People Instead of Actually Making Things” — from Internet People. I was called out. Maybe you will be too.

Okay that’s it!! For now i suppose.

See you next time xx