To be perfectly honest — I’ve been having a bit of writer’s block. I’m not unique in this, so I know other writers and creators out there will relate to the feelings of stuckness, insecurity and shame that often comes with it.
I’ve been telling my friends and colleagues that I’m experiencing a “crisis of confidence,” which in some ways I am, and in other ways it’s much deeper than that.
I’ve been grappling with figuring out who I am in this new season of my life and coming to terms with the person I always dreamed I would be. Yet when faced with leaning into visibility, leadership and celebrating the gift that is my life today, I often feel nervous, hesitant and overwhelmed.
Running a business, raising a tiny human, growing an online community and finding time for a social life is a pretty full plate, so compassion for myself is non-negotiable.
However, I’ve noticed that without realizing it, treating myself with compassion and kindness has led to a separate and not-so-helpful habit of isolating myself in the name of self-care.
It’s a fine balance, and for me, one I need to keep a close eye on. Closing myself off and retreating into introversion is a useful short-term strategy, but in the long run disconnects me from my creative energy, my support network, and feeds the anxious ruminator that says: “See? This is exactly why you’re unworthy.
As a way of breaking this cycle, today I am showing up. Even if I feel like hiding myself away, today’s writing is the low-energy, ADHD-friendly mishmash of interesting things I’ve been reading and working on lately. It’s not what I wanted to share today, but it’s a good start.
What I’m Reading:
Wildflower: A Memoir by Aurora James. A fellow West-Indian/Canadian who is making waves with the 15 Percent Pledge and with her sustainable shoe company Brother Vellies. I want to think I can afford these shoes as a present to myself, but honestly, I’ll likely be adding to cart and wistfully dreaming about them.
I’ve been loving the newsletter Journey with Compassion by Ekta Hattangady. Her most recent post titled “Meeting My Liberated Self” spoke to me deeply.
What I’m Listening To:
Balanced Black Girl Podcast: How To Feel More Liberated In Your Body with Chrissy King. Liberated seems to be the word du jour in my life these days. I really enjoyed tuning into this conversation.
This playlist has been my background noise for the 2 weeks. Something about it makes my brain feel quiet and grounded.
That’s it for today. I appreciate you for reading and following along with me as I balance the bumps of life.
I may not be humming with creative juices right now, but it’s been good to clear my mind without the pressure to be perfect. Perhaps if you’re also in a similar headspace, you’re encouraged to do the same.
Until next time,
Meg
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Deeply resonate with what you shared. I spent these past few days working through my perfectionism and allowing myself to publish something that was “good enough”. Thank you for sharing 💕
I relate so much to all of this! Thank you for putting it into words & for demonstrating a compassionate but bold way of showing up for yourself 💕